If you’ve applied and are digesting your college application results, it is tempting to compare them with others’. It is naturally a time of anxiety, stress, and often jealousy. Too often, you’ll hear “So-and-so was admitted to [name of school] and had lower grades, scores, less activities than me and I was rejected or waitlisted. This is so unfair.” Or “Why was my son rejected from XYZ University while [name of kid] was admitted?”
Take a breath and consider the following:
Respect the Competition (It’s a Numbers Game)
Many heavily selective institutions have applicant pools that are national, even international in scope, comprising many outstanding applicants with incredible profiles. Universities aren’t able to take all of these very qualified candidates, and often very popular programs are capacity-constrained (e.g. nursing programs can be about 50-60 students per year; CMU can only enroll about 100 or so new CS students annually). They also will want some geographical balance in many cases, too. Please keep this in mind.
You Aren’t Reading Their Files.
Colleges and universities have many institutional priorities. They want to build a class with varied background, interests, and life trajectories, and we are not privy to their decisions. We don’t know about a particular student’s details, their personal statement, any of their personal challenges, how a teacher recommends them, and it is neither useful nor productive to speculate how these institutions may evaluate a particular candidate.
Be Sympathetic.
Your friends may be disappointed with their admissions results, or feeling as if they “lost out” compared with you or your peers. So if your friends are feeling a bit down, have a kind word for them, and remind them that it can all work out for them in the end. For these reasons, it is a good idea to be low-key, even avoid, about sharing your admissions results on social media. And this advice can apply to parents sharing information about one’s child.
Some schools have discouraged or discontinued “sweatshirt day” when graduating seniors wear apparel with the name of their college-to-be, and may have also stopped listing the names of their graduates with their future institutions in school publications as well. If your school hasn’t done so, you can also advocate doing the same.
Think Long Term.
Think of higher education as the start of a new chapter, and not a prize to be won. You have your whole life ahead of you, and lots of time to find your path to success and fulfillment on your own terms. There are plenty of successful persons who did not attend superselective institutions, or even took a circuitous route to find their path, yet made their mark on society. What matters most is what you do at the school you attend, and what you do afterwards. You’ll be fine!
