In the next few weeks, if you’re a college applicant, you’ll be hearing notifications from schools –  if you haven’t already.  You may be quite pleasantly surprised when a college gives you the “Yes” and welcomes you as a prospective entering student.  Go celebrate and be happy!  At the same time, be sensitive to other classmates around you, who may or may not have received the news they like.

On the other hand, you may also receive notices from schools, particularly one that may be your dream school, which regrettably inform you that they could not offer you a space in their class.  It’s never fun to be turned down by anyone, including an academic institution. It is natural and understandable to  feel devastated and upset for a day or two, but don’t dwell too much on it.

Don’t take it personally.  Many colleges and universities are very selective, and cannot accept all the students who are qualified and would be outstanding fits for their class. For example, Stanford University accepted less than 4% of their applicants last year, which means they have to turn down 96% of the applicants, many of whom are highly qualified in and outside of the classroom.

You can also reach out to family and friends for support – allow them to comfort, and encourage you. Frank Bruni shares a letter parents wrote their son a letter of support:

Dear Matt,

On the night before you receive your first college response, we wanted to let you know that we could not be any prouder of you than we are today. Whether or not you get accepted does not determine how proud we are of everything you have accomplished and the wonderful person you have become. That will not change based on what admissions officers decide about your future. We will celebrate with joy wherever you get accepted — and the happier you are with those responses, the happier we will be. 

But your worth as a person, a student and our son is not diminished or influenced in the least by what these colleges have decided.

If it does not go your way, you’ll take a different route to get where you want. There is not a single college in this country that would not be lucky to have you, and you are capable of succeeding at any of them.

We love you as deep as the ocean, as high as the sky, all the way around the world and back again — and to wherever you are headed.

Mom and Dad

Above all, embrace the options (and schools) you have.  Make the most of your opportunity; what matters more is what you DO with the opportunity you have.  Steven Spielberg was rejected from the University of Southern California’s film school but attended Cal State Long Beach. He of course went on to direct and produce films such as E.T., Saving Private Ryan, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Schindler’s List, winning over 100 awards in the process. Others have gotten rejected at their first choice schools but did quite well in the process.

You DO have options, and remember: it’s not just the destination, but also the process. I’m more than happy to discuss the choices available to you – which may include waitlisting, or deferrals (which will be discussed in a future entry).